"Telling it like it is: Rewriting the "opting out" narrative" (optional post)

After reading the piece written by Heather Hewett and finishing up The Second Shift I really started to think about the word "choice" and what it means when we apply it to women and motherhood. Hewett talks about whether or not this idea of "opting out" is truly a choice or if it is the impact of "greater forces that often compel us to make certain choices." When a woman becomes a mother (now this is assuming the woman chose to have a child) she is taking on a huge responsibility- a life! Like The Second Shift talked about, the workforce has yet to fully accommodate those workers who have obligations to their children at home. Now this is where the word "choice" comes in: work or kids. Seems pretty simple right? Of course that is an impossible decision to make and a lot of the time there is not even the option of "choosing" to opt-out. In my optimistic mind I want to believe that it is fully possible to be a successful worker (by working I mean parent AND paid employee.) When I think about The Second Shift and Hewett's article a question comes to mind: what happens if a woman is single or in a relationship but has nobody to share the house/child care with? If she neglects the second shift is she a bad mother? If she neglects her work is she a weak female? There are endless labels women are given when it comes to work/life and the "choices" they make. Like Hewett mentions, it is important to remember that these decisions are not always real choices and are often a bigger systemic problem. Which is when the "personal is political" comes into play. When woman do find themselves having to leave the workforce to better things at home it is sometimes a political issue and not necessarily a personal choice. I have been told many times "you can't have the best of both worlds" but in this case I believe we should be able to have the best of both worlds. Actually I believe there should be only ONE world. Family life and work life need to work together!