Free-Write 1

She's Gotta Have It, discussed in bell hook's Talking Back, was one of the more disturbing things I have come across since the last Women's Studies class (Michael Douglas raping someone over a couch...not cool for so many reasons).  The "whose pussy is this" bit is disgusting because it's not only enforcing, as bell said, the idea that it's up to the woman to make an act of violent violation enjoyable, but also because it's like the male is teaching her a lesson.  She "learns" that her being sexually liberated is "wrong" and decides to marry the rapist like a good girl.  What she should have done is answered truthfully, her pussy's her own.  And marrying the guy?  How about turning him over to the cops so he can go to jail-showers and answer the question: "Whose ass is this?"

This reminded me of a post on girlwpen.com in which there is a list of things to help prevent rape.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

This struck a bell with me because, as above with the rape in She's Gotta Have It, most assume that preventing rape is up to women.  That we need to follow certain protocol or else it's our fault for being reckless when in fact we should be able to walk the streets at midnight because we are human beings and the only reason we can't is because of predatory male instincts for domination.

I'm tired of women needing to be the victim and the hero at the same time.  Rapists, if you need to fuck something into submission, your hand's right there.